Stranded at the intersections

January 17, 2016 § Leave a comment

The crazy girlfriend

They were just coming off a break-up, she said

From a lover who was messing with her head

She spoke of support among ‘women like her’

Other survivors of insecurity?

No

Of Bipolar Disorder, apparently

 

I sat there, the crimson running till my ears

I swear I tried my best to empathize here

Could I really do so, I questioned myself

For an answer that was straightforward and true

No

Because, well, I had a diagnosis too.

 

Dear friend of mine, did she at least see a shrink

For a formal diagnosis or some link

to her child abuse and ADHD meds

That’s all what we know, but it may not be all

No

Ignore the long term effects of Adderall

 

Domestic abuse apologist I’m not

It is quite a difficult place to be caught

Should I risk butting in and being a bitch

Try a verbal hashtag – -#notallmadpeople?

No

Intersectionality – not that simple

 

So violence, infidelity and lies

Oh don’t bother explaining – pathologize

I know what they’ll say, that I am different, yeah

Deepika Padukone types, in control

No

Sometimes I go very deep into my hole

 

Outbursts, anxiety, tears – in the same zone

Options are limited, and I feel alone

Should I go to a doctor and get on meds

To stop the outbursts, the crying and the pain?

No

Makes it difficult to be myself again

 

We need someone to talk to, to just accept

Not anonymous help on the internet

Mental health fora are full of these great guys

Who want to make it work and want some advice

No!

“Run away! As fast as you can! For your life!”

 

“Never stick your dick in crazy” they all say

And I feel unlovable in every way

We just need a little help and space to cope,

Maybe understanding, accommodation?

No

Not with our prognosis: ‘Fatal Attraction’

 

Why obsess over these tests on WebMD

When the reason you seek is patriarchy

Or maybe it just did not work out like that

Isn’t this explanation simple enough?

No

Is mental health victimhood like, cooler stuff?

 

Statistics and research and facts can be damned

The drama of mental illness is so grand

“There’s nothing that we could have done”, they simply

say expecting me then to nod the same way

No

I’m paying attention to my partner’s say

 

I’m trying to guess what they’re thinking right now

Do they see her point and are wondering how

to make their clean break without waking the whack

I’m bracing myself for “the” conversation

No

“You’re different” – again – the explanation

 

If and when it happens, the reason could be

Anything possible – either them or me

Rational people would reason and move on

Aren’t post mortems irrelevant to bother?

No

It’s ALWAYS my mental illness, no other

 

Think about your feminism, the next time

A relationship doesn’t end up all fine

Just leave the DSM out of this or else

When you come for a talk all I’ll say to you

Is no

Because I am some one’s crazy girlfriend too

 

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